"I'm a woman, how dare I not be great!"

Last night I had the pleasure of attending the 'This is Her Way' We Are Legendary Gala & Awards Dinner. The founder, Sherry Williams, honored five women last night and the pearls of wisdom shared during their acceptance speeches left me full and wanting more. I know, sounds like an oxymoron so let me explain. I definitely could have listened to each of them speak for at least another hour but I was full because I was so greatly impacted by what they shared. I received further confirmation, heard from God while listening, and accepted greater calls to action so I was indeed full. What I mean by wanting more is that they left me wanting more opportunities to serve, more opportunities to use my gifts in ways that honor God, and more time to pursue my purpose relentlessly.

The dynamic Quinta Brunson, creator of the widely popular Instagram/YouTube series “The Girl Who’s Never Been On A Nice Date Before” reminded us that we all have immense power and challenged us to further consider how we will use that power to rebuild our communities.

Gabrielle Jordan, the 15-year old author, entrepreneur, jewelry designer, inspirational speaker, and philanthropist who has been featured in Black Enterprise, graced the TED stage, and honored at Black Girls Rock, proclaimed that "fear is not legitimate."

Brittany O’Rourke, Radio and Television Host, Spokesperson, Presenter and Emcee, Creative Director, Songwriter and Model dropped so many jewels that I literally heard her voice while pin-curling my hair last night. One of the things she said that stood out and I believe many can relate to is “I was happy but I wasn’t fulfilled, there is a difference.” Wow! Now that’s a WORD.

The ‘Woman on the Rise’ recipient, 24 year old Tiara Willis, inspired us all by her life of service. Internationally, she has helped children learn English, donated food and clothing, and helped gain access to reading materials. She will be serving in Peace Corps Nicaragua focusing on economic development starting in the spring. She is urging her peers to give more, to serve, and to make an impact. She shared that when people ask why she gives back, she responds “Why don’t you?”

Miko Branch, the co-founder of Miss Jessie’s moved us to tears as she shared parts of her journey. She discussed some of the highs and lows, the loss of her sister, and didn’t hesitate to acknowledge God’s role in her life. She reminded us to “stay the course” and that “being in a position of choice is everything.” I was able to chat briefly with Miko before the book signing portion of the evening. In just a few moments, I felt this woman’s spirit. Just a few words in and we were both teary eyed; If you have never met her, she’s the friend you want to call when you’ve had a good or bad day, the sister you want to watch movies with all night, the auntie you want to take with you to an unnerving doctor’s appointment, and the teacher that inspires you to greatness, all in one! She speaks with intent, walks with grace, and moves in purpose. Her words were profound and her actions spoke volumes. As we gathered for the book signing and waited for the device to be secured to accept payments, Miko quietly asked one of the host how many women were in attendance. The host responded with the number and Miko in turn shared that everyone would receive a complimentary copy of the book she co-authored with her sister Titi, Miss Jessie’s: Creating a Successful Business from Scratch---Naturally. Her beneficence reminds me of two important principles and scriptures

1. Operate from a space of abundance. 2nd Corinthians 9:8, ”And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.” (NLT)

2. Your gift is not yours to keep, it is to be shared with others. 1 Peter 4:10, ”As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.” (NAS)

Sherry concluded the evening reminding us of the important calls on our lives as well as the sanctity of sisterhood, and closed us out ‘Empowered Woman-Benediction Style’ by declaring “I am a woman, how dare I not be great!”

"I'm just a woman." Bon mot or not?...or nah

The other day I attended a ‘pre-meeting’. You know, the meeting before the meeting…yea, one of those. However, this ‘pre-meeting’ was actually with two ladies that I’ve grown quite fond of. They are both extremely intelligent software engineers with 25+ years of experience. We were meeting to go over some ideas to later present at another meeting with a group of about 12- 15 individuals, mostly men.

The meeting was going well and I must admit that our synergy is amazing. We all thrive on cutting edge technology, have an affinity for lean-agile principles, and appreciate autonomy in the workplace. But while we were sharing our ideas, one of the women kept caveating her thoughts with “But I’m just a woman, what do I know?” Now I figured this was meant to throw a little shade at some of our male counterparts that would be attending the meeting, so I laughed it off initially. But later that day, I kept thinking about it and started recalling past mixed-gender meetings I’ve attended with this sharp and highly competent woman. It dawned on me that during those types of meetings, she’s not the most vocal, she rarely shares her thoughts or ideas, and when she does share - she doesn’t do so confidently.

Ok, fine...this could totally be her personality but I can’t help but wonder if her reticence during certain meetings is predicated by her words spoken in "jest". Is this truly a bon mot or not? Is it something she’s been jokingly saying for a while but now subconsciously believes it? And then I wondered if I've been guilty of the same. Have you?

Words have power and can influence your actions whether consciously or subconsciously.
 

"Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny and legacy.
Source – Unknown. Well, kinda...I can't figure out who said it first. :)

Ayden, North Carolina, in the projects, on Belvedere Ct. to be exact...

Last weekend I went back to my hometown of Ayden, NC for my cousin’s wedding. Once again, I had an amazing time with my family and of course we had a great time dancing at the reception and even took it back to the old days with a breakout performance to New Edition’s “If it isn’t love”. I didn’t get to hit the ‘Quan’ but it was a wonderful time and my cousin and his new bride were very happy.

Prior to moving to DC with my mom, I was raised in Ayden by my grandmother (Queenie Esther) and her two best friends/neighbors- Ms. Lillian and Ms. Julia Mae, in the projects, on Belvedere Ct. to be exact. What’s odd is that I had no idea we lived in the projects. If I heard the term, I certainly didn’t know what it meant. I don’t remember lacking anything, I had ample space to play, great friends, the most amazing home cooked meals, and I was surrounded by positive women that loved me. I felt loved and heard the words “I love you” multiple times a day.

The core of who I am today is as a result of what I saw and experienced while living in Ayden, in the projects, on Belvedere Ct. to be exact.

I learned to serve in Ayden. My grandmother served everyone! She fed other kids in the neighborhood, served on multiple boards and committees at the church, and she also served other families in a role quite similar to that of Viola Davis in ‘The Help’. I watched her serve. I knew her heart for serving others and the value of service was instilled in me at a very young age. I actually committed to my first service project when I was in the 2nd grade. My friend Taylor and I made friendship bracelets, sold them to students and teachers, and donated the money raised to the Ronald McDonald House in Greenville, NC.  Over the years I have received several awards like the Women of Color in Technology (WOC)-All Star award which is an award reserved for accomplished women of color at an advanced stage of their careers that have demonstrated excellence in the workplace and in their communities but it all started in Ayden, in the projects, on Belvedere Ct. to be exact.

I learned the value of the village as a family in Ayden. When I went outside to play, there was someone from the village looking out for me. If I was on Sunset Dr., it was Trevoya’s Grandma, Von’s mom, or Ms. Winnie. If I even looked like, I thought about, crossing the street to enter “Woodcrest”, the forbidden area, Ms. Viola would yell out her window to let me know that she had my grandmother on the phone. Woodcrest was off limits because apparently there was ‘too much going on down there’ according to my grandmother. I learned later in life that she was referring to drug activities. My Aunt Ann picked grandma and I up for church, Cousin Vivian took us to the grocery store, and Aunt Gracie took us shopping. Ms. Lois Ann had four or five kids of her own but my friends Crystal, Ashley, Erika, and I were a part of her crew. She would take us all on bike rides across town to the 3rd St. Park, she organized baseball and kickball games in the neighborhood, and was always down to jump rope with us, although she was a little double-handled. If you don’t know what double-handed means, shame on you. In my adult life, I am blessed to be a part of many villages- helping to raise children just like those that were a part of my village, in Ayden, in the projects, on Belvedere Ct. to be exact.

I learned to appreciate math in Ayden. Mrs. Morgan and Mrs. White were my favorite teachers at Ayden Elementary School. They made learning fun and always pushed me to try harder, especially at math. It was in their classroom that I began to appreciate the subject which became the catalyst for my career as a software engineer. And later on when I spent hours in the evening teaching math to GED students, I remembered to make math relatable and to keep it fun. I was recognized by Women In Technology (WIT) for my work as a software engineer and biometrics subject matter expert but it all started in Ayden, in the projects, on Belvedere Ct. to be exact.

I also learned the value of friendship in Ayden. I have friendships that have spanned 30+ years that started in Ayden. What I’ve learned from those friendships is that to be a friend to someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you speak to them all the time but what it does mean is you are there when it counts and matters most. When my grandmother died, the first face I saw when I walked out of the church was Crystal W., my longtime friend from kindergarten. I hadn’t seen her in at least five or six years but she was there and I am eternally grateful. And although my dear friend Trevoya and I were separated for many years, when we connected again it was like we hadn’t skipped a beat. I was there with her when she took her last breath and I now carry her heart in my heart.  

I’m not ashamed of any part of my life and a lot of what some would perceive as a disadvantage has propelled me to succeed.

I consider it a blessing that I was raised in Ayden, North Carolina, in the projects, on Belvedere Ct. to be exact.